Welcome To The Black Parade
by jimkirks
Summary: It's four year old Damien's first 'Hell Pride Parade'. Oneshot, Damien-Centric, No Slash; Rated T for Gore/Hell/Demons.


Title;** Welcome To The Black Parade.**  
Summary; It's four year old Damien's first Annual Hell Pride Parade.  
Notes; Inspired by the start of 'Welcome To The Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance.  
Warnings; Based in Hell, demons, gore and such. No slash or language warning. **I _KNOW_ Damien is OOC, it is intentional. It is explained at the end of the fic, so no bitchin'.**  
Disclaimer; I do not own South Park, My Chem., Hell or Barbie.

* * *

_To see a marching band._

An incredibly small four year old Damien sat in the middle of his blood red room, playing with his multicoloured toys. Eventually getting bored of spelling words like 'Cat' and 'Dog' and 'Satanic' with alphabet blocks, he moved onto his Barbie dolls. He grabbed his pitch black dragon plush and sat it atop of the blonde bombshell. Using his mind in ways he's done previously before but never really understood how, the dolls came alive.

"Waah, help me!" Barbie squeaked. The dragon blew a puff of smoke from his nose, uncomfortable on top of the plastic girl. Immediately, a tanned blonde Ken waltzed in from Satan knows where, dressed up like a knight.

"I'll save you!" he said proudly as he drew out his sword. "Get off my lady, beast!" In response, the dragon blew fire, burning the fine hairs off little Ken's head. Ken, being the girly boy he was, squealed and sprinted out of Damien's room. Damien giggled as Barbie huffed and kicked the dragon off herself. The dragon fell hard onto the brimstone floor, causing Damien to run over to him. He picked it up and cradled it in his arms, whispering words of comfort. The little demon made his plastic toy ambulance hurry over. He opened the two back doors and placed the Dragon inside, hoping that would fix him.

Bored again because his is toys were either hurt or angry he stood up and jumped onto his bed. He mentally turned on his red iPod dock his Uncle Hades got him for his birthday. He didn't know who sang it or what they were singing; he just liked the sound of someone screaming into his ears.

"Come on Daimey-poo, I'm taking you down to main street" he heard his daddy yell. He immediately sat up; excited he actually got to do something. He also really, really liked Main Street in Hell, there's always a festival or special visits from Barney the dinosaur down there. He ran out of his room and down the stairs, to see his father putting on a bright pink jacket. The devil easily scooped up the Anti-Christ and sat him atop his shoulders.

They took a stroll through Hell, Damien admiring the huge flames and skeletons. He rested his head on his fathers and ran a finger up his horn. Poking himself at the tip, he let out a squeak and recoiled.

"What's at Main Street today daddy? Is it Barney again? Is it? Is it? It is, isn't it? Dad? Dad? Daddy? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad?"

"Quiet Daimey, it's a surprise" Damien gasped.

"A surprise?! I wuv surprises! Is it The Wiggles?"

"You'll find out soon enough, honey buns"

When they made it to Main Street, Satan gently set Damien on the ground. The small devil stood frozen in time, in complete awe of the sceptical going on in front of him. The large signs read '4000222th Annual Hell Pride Parade!' There were many floats, all moving at a slow pace. Many other Hell occupants stood around Lucifer and his son, all moving out of the way so the tiny boy could see.

The atmosphere was incredible. Any hate or sadness seemed to have drifted away with the celebration and alcohol, making Damien ecstatic. The fires around Hell seemed to have dimmed, making everything a lot darker. People jumped up and down, more excited than Damien was when he first learnt how to set things on fire. The prince looked up and smiled at his daddy, immediately getting one back.

A marching band stood at the front of the parade, their hair, skin, eyes, lips and teeth the darkest shade of black. They wore traditional marching bang attire, laced with red thread. Their instruments however were white and as the tuba player blew into his instrument blood flew everywhere. As the drum player beat his drum, blood flew up into the air. A long trail of blood was left behind them, making the usually black road red. They played a song that sounded familiar to Damien, like the ones his daddy sings to him before he goes to bed. The main singer was singing in Latin, the language of Heaven and Hell. Everyone around cheered for the band, which made them play even louder.

The royals of Hell rode in black convertible Ferraris behind the band, two skinny blonde women beside each of them. Small devils were driving, the cars sometimes skidding on the blood. First, Hades drove past. Then Death. Then Demonicus. Then some of the Arch-Devils. The Anti-Christ briefly wondered why his daddy wasn't in a car with them, but that thought quickly vanished from his head when he saw Kenny McCormick, the link between Heaven, Earth and Hell. He waved enthusiastically to his friend, but Kenny was too caught up with looking at the ladies chests. He looked from one to the other, probably judging whose was better.

After the cars, five men in a line walked military style. They were dressed like the marching band, but everything was white. They all carried large red guns, which they all pointed to the sky in perfect symmetry. They pulled the triggers and with a large 'BANG!' blood, flesh, teeth, eyes, fingers and red confetti shot into the air, falling onto the crowd. Everyone roared and Damien contributed with his squeaky voice.

The preceding floats contained demonic performers, all doing their speciality. Being the prince and his first experience, the floats halted in front of the demon for a minute or two, giving the child the chance to see everything it had to offer.

The first float rolled up in front of him, where a sickly thin girl stood, skin looking like she came from an old timely movie. Damien recognised her as a ghost but noticed the differences between her and normal ones. When someone turns into a ghost, they are reverted to the time in their life where they looked the most beautiful. Usually you see women on their wedding days and men just after their first time. But this one of different.

She looked horrid, scaring the small child. Her hair stood up on end, forming sharp points. Her eyes were a glowing blue, the only sign of life on her body. She had no teeth and her gums were as black as night. Her face was full of scars, making her look horrifically disfigured. Despite her look, she was dancing gracefully, something Damien has never seen before. She didn't look in pain, she looked happy. As she moved her body, much of it disappeared into the darkness. The girl reached out her hand and Damien went to pat it, but his hand just fell through. The tried to hold her hand, but the same thing happened. He was confused, being the Prince of Hell he could always connect with spiritual beings, no matter what they were. The girl leaned over and kissed his small head. Damien swore he felt something.

She rolled away and was replaced with another girl, this one not a ghost. Her skin was a dark purple, eyes a glowing green. Her clothes were made out of fine string, covering the bare necessities and leaving very little to the imagination. She had two snakes wrapped around her arms, colours matching her eyes. The snakes hissed and bit her neck along with other body parts but she didn't look phased by it. Pale green blood leaked out, staining the float underneath.

She lifted up her arm fiercely, one of the snakes flying off. It fell back down and she grabbed it by the tail and swung it in Damien's direction. The snake stiffened; it was as if it was floating on air. The snake hissed, his bright yellow tongue flicking just inches from Damien's nose. Damien rubbed it lightly on its head with his index finger and it went to bite Damien's nose. Stan quickly grabbed his son's hair, jerking him back. Once the lady smirked and pulled the snake back, he patted Damien on the bum and pushed him back to his spot.

She was replaced with something Damien really liked. The small demons he usually finds around Hell, doing odd jobs for people, were hurting each other in ways Damien found funny. Two were cutting each other with rusty scissors, two were literally eating the other one and two were trying a more traditional approach, hitting each other over the head with wooden clubs. The little Anti-Christ burst out laughing with his adorable voice, causing a few people around him to 'aww' at the sound.

Another float rolled up, showing a few men and women celebrating 'Luau'. This made Damien laugh more, they all looked like dumb-dumbs. Their hips moved from side to side, grass skirts flowing. There were a few more like this, celebrating various days in hell. Damien was rather disappointed in the Halloween one, they only went for a large pumpkin. The little child thought they would at least put a rat there or something.

As the normal floats rolled away, the performers came back. A four foot man stood, his hair black, long and matted with blood. He wore a white jumpsuit, ripped in parts Damien would have preferred not seeing. He had white make up on his face, red smeared around his lips and upside-down crosses going over his eyes. His eyes pure white, he didn't have pupils or eyelids. He laughed as he stabbed himself in the stomach with a bloody knife, making a happy face which brang the child joy. The clown wiped some blood off his stomach and smeared it on Damien's lips, giving him a smile which matched his own.

The next float had a shape-shifter, morphing into the most infamous creatures in Hell's past. He turned into something that looked like an elephant had sex with a frog, eyes a faint pink. The shape-shifter reverted back its usual self, looking like a cross between and chicken and a cockroach. He turned into Damien, an exact replica. In Damien's voice, the man asked Damien would he would like him to turn into. The child immediately blurted out 'Pooh Bear' and got his wish.

The proceeding float was painted a sky blue, with two bright lights shining on a girl. The girl had long black hair which trailed on the ground. Her skin was as pale as Damien's and eyes a dark violet. She smiled at the little Anti-Christ and he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, besides Barbie. She looked away and motioned for another man to jump up on the float with her, he had the same expression as Damien. Damien immediately realised she was a succubus, and that idea was supported because the moment her went to kiss her she turned into a monster. She had a dark green body, a mix of human skin, fur and scales. She grew five more sets of eyes, each smaller than the last. They were sunken into her skull, framed with her flesh. She had two large teeth, looking a lot like the ones on a sabre-toothed tiger.

She bit the man's head off, blood and flesh flying everywhere. She looked back towards Damien and smiled, showing the bits of bone in her pointy teeth. She seemed to regurgitate the man's head, bringing it back up and spitting it at Damien. He caught it like someone catching a baseball at a baseball game and danced around in joy. He gave it to his daddy to hold, saying 'don't lose it!'.

An eleven foot tall, black and red striped jester stood atop of one, moving his body around in ways Damien has never seen before. His long legs and arms moved around in slow motions, bending in ways impossible on the surface. He did a handstand, his legs falling down as he completed a back flip. The jester reached over and ruffled Damien's hair with his large index finger. The child jumped back, afraid of his bleeding eyes and sharp, black teeth. The jester laughed in a very evil way, the bells on his hat ringing, piercing Damien's ears.

The jester reached over and picked Damien up, making the demon screech and reach for his father. Satan just laughed and uttered things like 'you'll be fine'. He was set atop of jester's hat, which he found was very soft and comfortable. He giggled, stood up and starting jumping up and down, much to the jester's frustration. The black and red striped demon picked the smaller one up, fitting nicely in his huge red palm. He brought him close to his face and Damien stared into those black, bleeding eyes. Damien touched his large red nose, immediately recoiling from the burning sensation. The jester laughed again and set the small child on his shoulder and continued doing his show for the other patrons. Damien laughed and hung on for dear life as the jested did some of his more inventive moves. He looked back and noticed that the floats behind him were mediocre, consisting of banners and singers who can't sing, so he concentrated on the jester.

Eventually, the jester stopped and picked the little demon up. He kissed the demon, as gently as he could with giant lips. He pulled away, turned around then flicked the child, sending him flying through the air. He landed in his father's lap, who was currently sitting a throne on his own float. Satan put his son in the throne next to him.

"Did you enjoy it darling?" Damien beamed and bounced up and down on his seat.

"Yeah! Daddy, did you see me? I rode on his shoulder! He is really tall and he moved really weirdly, I had to hang on really tight, cause I didn't want to fall off, cause then I would get hurt and you would get worried"

"I knew you'd love it" Satan said. "Just think, one day this will all be yours" he muttered, more to himself. The float eventually rolled up to a clearing, where many demons and humans sat on the ground. They all gazed up at the black sky above, all anticipating something. Satan titled his sons head up just as a firework flew into the air.

They blew up, showing multiple colours. They made outlines of demons and sayings like 'Hell pride!" Some even caught alight in the air, causing the little demon to 'oooh' at the sight. Satan smiled at his son like the proud father he was.

"One day, you'll finally realise your evil powers." Satan started. "You'll realise how evil you are deep down, not innocent like you are now. When you do that, you'll help me take over the world. Then everyday will be like this." Damien gasped happily as a big black puff of smoke appeared in the sky. "I can't promise you much, but this I can. It will be fantastic, beautiful, amazing. We'll live on the surface; all we devils will. No longer will we be under the bond of Hell, we'll be free to go wherever we want. Then, you'll find yourself a nice human to marry and care for you. I already know who that special person is, but I'll never tell you. That's your journey, you'll have to find that out for yourself. When you do find them you'll know. Then you can share _this_ amazing experience with them. Your life will be magnificent Damien, just magnificent. Since we don't live in heaven, we make our own."

Damien nodded, not really paying attention to what his daddy was saying.

It wasn't important, for now.

_When I was, a young boy. _

**~~~  
Don't steal my Jester or my Ghost. The rest I don't care about.  
This was fun to write and it's something I am actually proud of.  
Satan's ending speech took me forever…was it good?  
And whose Damien's special human? It's Pip. Ha, couldn't help myself.**


End file.
